Saturday, May 19, 2012


Haven't posted in a while...actually wrote a post on Monday, after the dreaded Mother's Day holiday, and just hadn't published it. So last weekend was a very hard weekend to deal with....I want to celebrate and honor my beautiful Mother, all the while just wanting to crawl into a hole and disappear. All the "Happy Mother's Day" posts and texts...I'm like dude, not everyone is a mother. I was very angry and hurt. On Monday we had the second half of our homestudy, she did the walk through of the house and gathered all the rest of the information needed to make her report to make us available for adoption. However, she told me something that really disappointed me. She said we may need to get recertified 2-3 times before we got our baby...translating to 2-3 YEARS!!! Pretty low blow. The rest of our week was very uneventful although busy with my nieces and nephews extra-curricular activities!!

For the past week or so, I've been having very low pelvic pains, much like a menstrual cramp, but lower. So everytime I went to the restroom, I kept expecting for AF to have shown her ugly face, being that I was already late. AF had last shown up on April 7th. When I saw Dr. Bundren in March, I'd been told to stay on my BC pills and keep all my meds the same to keep my PCOS and Endo suppressed and at bay. But after I finished my last pack of pills I thought to myself, I'm just not going to take the BC pills this month and see if my miracle can happen. So when I began on day 30 with no period, I was dreading making that phone call to his office to tattle on myself, that I hadn't done what he told me. So I just kept waiting being as though I was having the low cramps and just figured AF was taking her dear sweet time. But as I came upon day 42 with no cycle, I knew I better call. So Thursday morning, I made that call to Dr. B's office and told them I was day 42 and having cramping that was really low. First words out of her mouth were "Have you taken a pregnancy test?" and I told her "No, it will be negative and I don't want to see those words". So they called me back later in the afternoon and said to take a pregnancy test first thing Friday morning and if it was negative to let them know and I could come in and get a shot of progesterone.  So I go and buy the digital pregnancy tests.  Friday morning comes and I pee on my stick. Error. Great. I HATE these stupid tests. So I get ready for work and go on in. About 8ish, I ask one of my coworkers if she could run next door and get a pregnancy test from her friend at the doctor's office. She comes back with the test and I just stick it in my desk drawer. At about 10:00, I figure I might as well take it so that I can go get my shot. So I go potty and then do the test. I was putting all the trash in the little bag while waiting...normally I mess these tests up too. I look down and two lines....wait, what??!?! TWO LINES!!?! So I barrel out the bathroom door and get the girl who'd got me the test, we run in the bathroom and shut the door. I said "What does that mean" and she's like "oh my gosh, there's two lines, that means...." and I said "NO WAY!, OMG! NO WAY!". So I grab the stick and run out of the bathroom shaking, literally shaking, I run into my boss' office waving my beautiful stick around screaming "I'm going to have to take time off in January" Needless to say, all work stopped at that point. I just kept looking at my pretty little stick and kept saying, there's never been two lines. I called Matt and said "I peed on a stick and it was positive" He had zero clue what I was talking about. Then he said he was proud of me. HAHA!! I think I caught him a bit of guard!!  I called Dr. Bundren's office and Esther answered and I just said "Esther, it's Erin, it was POSITIVE!!!" She then told me to come in and get blood work but drive slowly and carefully!!!

So I left work, called my best friend, Amber, squealing. She couldn't even understand what i was saying!! She began to cry! So I went and got my blood work, then came on home. I probably called Matt a dozen times on my way home because I was just so excited! I came home and peed on the other digital stick and sure enough the words "Pregnant" popped right up. NEVER in a million years had I expected to see two lines on a stick or that word. This wasn't supposed to happen for me. Especially without lots of medical intervention.

May 18th, will be one of those days I pray I never forget. It was the happiest day of my life so far...

Lots more to come I'm sure!!