The next move

The last few days have been full of new ideas, new thoughts and new plans. Exciting, scary and sad all at the same time!

When I was praying for my latest cycle to work, probably as much as I prayed for my cycle to work, I prayed for peace if it didn't. I asked God, if it wasn't going to happen, just to give me peace. Peace to move on, peace to do something different, peace in my heart and mind. And that is one prayer He answered. While I know He did answer the prayer for my cycle...it just wasn't in the way I expected or wanted. He simply answered with a No, not now. Wait. I will say that yes, I cried for probably an hour, then I spent time trying to just get my thoughts together and try to figure out how to tell Matt and the tears stopped. We were able to have a great weekend with little Haylei (my precious niece). We did gymnastics and went to another niece's soccer game and then played at the park and then topped it off with grilling burgers!!

But onto the new and exciting....so I've had the paperwork for adoption for several months now, I've never been able to open the packet to begin filling it out. I just wasn't there yet. So I scheduled us for the pre-service training classes, which is the 12 hours of education that you have to have in order to get certified. I cracked open the packet last night and got writer's cramp trying to fill out all the papers! But, we had our first training session this morning. It was actually refreshing to not be talking about fertility treatments!! My plan at the moment is to concurrently work on weight loss so that we may be able to do IVF in the fall while getting certified to become an adoptive home. I am NOT ready to give up on the dream of experiencing pregnancy and giving birth yet. I meet with my RE in a couple of weeks and we'll know more then. But my thoughts are that if our IVF treatments fail, that we'd already be certified as an adoptive home, then we could open our home and hopefully have a child quickly. Again, this is all my plans, not His. I guess time will tell.

My sweet Haylei at the park in between soccer games

This is how Haylei sleeps, with her arm around Matt's neck. Melts. my. heart.

 Haylei's first attempt at writing the letter "B". The last two are hers. :)

 My sister and three of my niece, the girl on the end of the couch is a friend of my oldeset niece.

After church Sunday we went to Rib Crib...this girl loves BBQ!

So on Friday, the 20th, Matt and I took miss Haylei to see her first movie...we saw Beauty and the Beast in 3D. She was SO excited to be at "her movie" and to eat popcorn and drink pop! She is so silly...she wore the glasses all through the previews but once the movie started she put them up on her head!! I kept telling her to put them on her face but she wouldn't listen :). She made it through the whole movie, which I didn't think that she would. Once we got home, my night got horrible...I figured out through natural things that my IUI cycle had failed. I was devastated to say the least...I haven't decided if I have it in me to try a 3rd time...still praying and thinking on that.

Saturday was Haylei's 4th birthday!! I just love her SO incredibly much! We had a Hello Kitty birthday party and she had so much fun!! A few things about Haylei on her 4th birthday:

She weighs about 32 pounds
Wearing mostly 3T and 4 clothing
She wears a size 8 1/2 - 9 shoe
She sleeps wonderfully at night and would still take a two hour nap most days
She can recognize her name if written and always recognizes the letter H
She talks Non.Stop. :)
She LOVES her uncle Matt more than anybody


Here is the Birthday girl on her birthday in her pretty party dress

 

She thought Nana and Papa's card was funny! Actually she was laughing becuase I was making her sit still while I read to her!! :)