Moving and grooving

Little man is gearing up to walk!! He's been taking steps here and there, but always just when prompted, but tonight, he was holding onto the couch and just turned around and took off across the living room, he took about 6 steps before he realized and quickly sat down. He is growing so quick and fast!!


 We did a little bit of Christmas shopping today! Took Haylei and Jackson with us, so I couldn't get much for Haylei.

We're getting ready for a wonderful week of thanks and giving!!

So, I think it is time to give this blogging thing a whirl again! I want something written of our long days and short years to look back on later!! So, since the last time I blogged, my life has been turned upside down, inside out and right side up!! I gave birth, via emergency csection on January 18, 2013 to a beautiful, perfect baby boy named Jackson Lee. He is an absolute joy and is so fun!! It, of course, was the hightest of highs for the year 2013. On April 25, 2013 I lost my dad due to complications from diabetes, renal failure and heart failure. It was the lowest of lows. Let me back up, on Halloween 2012, I received a phone call from my dad while at work, it was lunch time, and he stated that he was in the ER due to chest pains, but that he was fine. 1 week later, he was having a triple bypass, not many of us thought he’d wake up from the surgery. In fact, he wasn’t able to come off the ventilator for 2 ½ days. It was the day of my baby shower that they were able to wean him off of it. The struggle w as over…or so we thought. This would begin a very long 6 months of hospital stays, rehab, home and back to the hospital and rehab. It would end with us bringing him home one April day, and him passing from this life on a Thursday afternoon. Much of the 6 months, he was like a patient with dementia, even living in the Alzheimer’s’ unit of the rehab. Many days I fight feelings of anger that he really never got to know Jackson. He knew I had him and was in his right mind when I did have him, but when Jackson was 3 weeks old is when dad went back into the hospital for the VRE infection. I miss him so bad it literally hurts sometimes. I am able to think of the funny, stupid things he did and smile however. They just got his headstone put up this past week, it looks so nice and I am so happy it is there!! We (my siblings and I) went over to his house yesterday and finished cleaning it out. Jackson is growing like a little weed and crawling everywhere!! He like to pull cords and be in the kitchen, he’s starting to hear “Jackson, no-no” and “Jackson, momma said no” quite frequently!!! I took him to the dr last week and he weighed 19 pounds and 1 oz!! Big Boy!! I also bought him a big boy carseat this weekend and he’s starting to set in it. I think he likes it a little better than his infant carrier.

16 weeks

 

Gender – unsure still, will find out in two weeks!

Weight Gain – Down 1 pound

Cravings – Pickles!! And Salt. Everything tastes like it needs more salt! A couple days ago, I stopped at a BBQ place to get my dad some food and the cashier was eating a pickle. And I said “oh, I love pickles. I am pregnant and crave them all the time” so he told them to give me a pint of pickles!! So nice, such a smart boy!! ;)

Movement – felt a little “rolling” in my abdomen on Wednesday, 8/1/12. When I went for my appt yesterday, right where the doctor found the heartbeat is where I felt the “rolling”, so I’m pretty sure that was baby. :D

Clothes – I can still wear some of my normal clothes, but where the button hits, is pretty tender, so I do wear some maternity capri’s and shorts. I also have several maternity tops that I’ve been wearing, cause I’ve waited a long time to be able to do so! Ha!

Best moment – Feeling the movement and we had to fill out a Health screening survey at work and it asked “Are you currently pregnant?” and I got to answer YES!!! Also, as weird as it sounds, making my first pre-payment on my delivery yesterday was pretty awesome!

Haylei

I just wanted to take a minute or two to remember some things about my sweet Haylei. She is growing by leaps and bounds, not just height wise, but maturity and just being a little girl.

She is SO caring and sweet. A couple of Sundays ago, we were sitting out on the front porch, while it was still cool enough to do so. She was playing and decided she needed a drink. So, she went inside to get a drink. She had been gone for a few minutes when I finally heard her coming out the door; she came out three bottles of water, one for Matt, one for me and one for herself. Is it just me or is that not the sweetest thing!???

This past Friday, we stopped at Sonic to get something to eat, well they only gave us one peppermint, and Haylei loves those, so I of course gave it to her, she then looked up at Matt and asked him if he wanted one, I told her there weren’t any more, just that one. So she asked him if he wanted half of it. Seriously…SWEET!!

She is really working on writing her name. I wrote it on her paper and she wrote it out underneath, I did help her with the “e” but that’s it. It’s so cute, because she sometimes gets her letters all jumbled up and not in the right order.

I took her to Urgent Care last Thursday night because she had strep throat, and she weighed 33 pounds fully dressed!!

I just cannot believe she starts school in less than a month. Someone is going to have to give this Auntie a sedative to survive this! I have just been praying that God will watch over her and protect her coming and going. I’ve been working with her on grooming habits, so that she is sure to have her face washed and hair brushed every morning before she goes to school, since I cannot be there to make sure it’s done for her. She is so mature that I am sure she’ll do fine and I know she’ll thrive in the school environment, just praying I survive it!!!

Zoo trip and cousins!!

 6/1/12

Today, most of my family all took a trip to the Tulsa Zoo!! There was 19 of us total…lots of kiddos to keep up with!! The weather started off perfect, then while eating lunch, it began sprinkling….and within 30 minutes it was pouring rain…Cold rain!! All the kids had so much fun and I think the adults did too! Haylei enjoyed seeing her relatives (the monkeys)! Haha!! I just love that kid!!

Since the rain ran us out of the zoo, we loaded up and went to Nana and Papa’s house for some more cousin time because two of our cousins are headed home to Texas tomorrow. L The kids played and watched a movie while the adults napped, visited and ate ice cream!! We all went to eat supper in Wagoner at my favorite Mexican food place and had a wonderful time! It was such a fun filled day with family!!

Lately...

Haven't posted in a while...actually wrote a post on Monday, after the dreaded Mother's Day holiday, and just hadn't published it. So last weekend was a very hard weekend to deal with....I want to celebrate and honor my beautiful Mother, all the while just wanting to crawl into a hole and disappear. All the "Happy Mother's Day" posts and texts...I'm like dude, not everyone is a mother. I was very angry and hurt. On Monday we had the second half of our homestudy, she did the walk through of the house and gathered all the rest of the information needed to make her report to make us available for adoption. However, she told me something that really disappointed me. She said we may need to get recertified 2-3 times before we got our baby...translating to 2-3 YEARS!!! Pretty low blow. The rest of our week was very uneventful although busy with my nieces and nephews extra-curricular activities!!

For the past week or so, I've been having very low pelvic pains, much like a menstrual cramp, but lower. So everytime I went to the restroom, I kept expecting for AF to have shown her ugly face, being that I was already late. AF had last shown up on April 7th. When I saw Dr. Bundren in March, I'd been told to stay on my BC pills and keep all my meds the same to keep my PCOS and Endo suppressed and at bay. But after I finished my last pack of pills I thought to myself, I'm just not going to take the BC pills this month and see if my miracle can happen. So when I began on day 30 with no period, I was dreading making that phone call to his office to tattle on myself, that I hadn't done what he told me. So I just kept waiting being as though I was having the low cramps and just figured AF was taking her dear sweet time. But as I came upon day 42 with no cycle, I knew I better call. So Thursday morning, I made that call to Dr. B's office and told them I was day 42 and having cramping that was really low. First words out of her mouth were "Have you taken a pregnancy test?" and I told her "No, it will be negative and I don't want to see those words". So they called me back later in the afternoon and said to take a pregnancy test first thing Friday morning and if it was negative to let them know and I could come in and get a shot of progesterone.  So I go and buy the digital pregnancy tests.  Friday morning comes and I pee on my stick. Error. Great. I HATE these stupid tests. So I get ready for work and go on in. About 8ish, I ask one of my coworkers if she could run next door and get a pregnancy test from her friend at the doctor's office. She comes back with the test and I just stick it in my desk drawer. At about 10:00, I figure I might as well take it so that I can go get my shot. So I go potty and then do the test. I was putting all the trash in the little bag while waiting...normally I mess these tests up too. I look down and two lines....wait, what??!?! TWO LINES!!?! So I barrel out the bathroom door and get the girl who'd got me the test, we run in the bathroom and shut the door. I said "What does that mean" and she's like "oh my gosh, there's two lines, that means...." and I said "NO WAY!, OMG! NO WAY!". So I grab the stick and run out of the bathroom shaking, literally shaking, I run into my boss' office waving my beautiful stick around screaming "I'm going to have to take time off in January" Needless to say, all work stopped at that point. I just kept looking at my pretty little stick and kept saying, there's never been two lines. I called Matt and said "I peed on a stick and it was positive" He had zero clue what I was talking about. Then he said he was proud of me. HAHA!! I think I caught him a bit of guard!!  I called Dr. Bundren's office and Esther answered and I just said "Esther, it's Erin, it was POSITIVE!!!" She then told me to come in and get blood work but drive slowly and carefully!!!

So I left work, called my best friend, Amber, squealing. She couldn't even understand what i was saying!! She began to cry! So I went and got my blood work, then came on home. I probably called Matt a dozen times on my way home because I was just so excited! I came home and peed on the other digital stick and sure enough the words "Pregnant" popped right up. NEVER in a million years had I expected to see two lines on a stick or that word. This wasn't supposed to happen for me. Especially without lots of medical intervention.

May 18th, will be one of those days I pray I never forget. It was the happiest day of my life so far...

Lots more to come I'm sure!!

new plans

I went and saw Dr. Bundren today just for a regrouping consult...he said that he'd like me to go see an Endocrinologist and get on some injectable medications used for diabetics, in hopes that it will help me lose the weight needed to do IVF in the fall. He told me the optimal weight for doing IVF is between 120-200 pounds, any more or less than that and you dramatically decrease your chances. He told me my PCOS is pretty bad and that the Metformin alone just isn't cutting it. He also said that with the amount of Follistim I was one, along with okay sperm count numbers, that after 3 trys with IUI I should have gotten pregnant and so now it is time for IVF. I am still so excited and hopeful. So now I just have to get an appt with the Endo doctor and hopefully get on the right track. I have been doing Weight Watchers for two weeks now and have only lost 2.4 pounds, he said it should NOT be that hard for me to lose weight, he was pleased that I'd lost and kept off about 15 pounds since summer but it should be more than that. So, I guess we'll see how that goes.

In other news...we are moving right along with getting certified for adoption through Cherokee Nation. Matt just got his physical today and I am scheduled for mine on Monday. We finished up our pre-service training last week and passed our test, we turned in all our paperwork and got fingerprints as well last week. So now, I'm just trying to baby proof our house and wait to be assigned to a caseworker and get our homestudy scheduled. Like I told Matt today, I am NOT ready to give up on being pregnant and giving birth just yet. I just want to work on losing weight while working on getting certified and then if IVF doesn't work or we can't get the financing for it, then we'll be ready for adoption. Surprisingly, my heart feels very open to both. So that is all that is new in our world!